LITTLE WAYS DOWN THE ROAD- PART 8

             LITTLE WAYS DOWN THE ROAD- PART 8

    Arjun held his breath as he read the diary.

                           "I am confused. What do I do now?

                           Look, A, I know you love him. I have known this for a really long time. But you were just too absorbed and afraid to admit it.

                           I wasn't afraid. I didn't know myself that I love him. I thought that it was affection I had for him, that I cared for him like a friend.

                          Okay, now that you know the fact, what will you do?

                          I can't tell him, I really can't. He is such an achieving person. He doesn't deserve someone like me. He deserves someone better.

                          Wait, what has professional life got to do with a life partner? You are also an educated, independent, professional woman.

                          Maybe. But I don't know if he feels the same about me like how i feel about him. I can't jump to conclusions immediately. What if he doesn't love me like I do? What if he is counting me in as only a friend?

                         But the way he looks at me, the affection in his eyes, it has got more to do than just friendship.

                        Anyways, I can't go on to him and rant about my feelings. I wish I knew what he is thinking.

                        Okay, now decide on the two options you have.

                        If he doesn't love me, then I am gonna shut up my mouth and stay mute. I will never let him learn my secret.

                       What if he does love you as strongly as you do? 

                       Well, I still can't be with him. He is someone unreachable. What if eventually we fall out, if this doesn't work out properly, if he starts hating me like Rohit?

                        Hey, there is no comparison between between Mr. J and that fool. Still, I can't risk. You are correct. I am a disaster with guys. I am never sure that I can keep him bonded to me. If the weariness in the bond starts anytime, then the bond will just shred up. I don't want to lose him. He is precious. 

                       Even if I am precious to him, I can't risk his happiness. He needs someone serious, practical and a stable woman. Not a fun loving freak like me. He should be happy.

                      What if he himself says "I love you"? 

                      Well, that's simple. I need to go away from him. He will realize later that I am just a passing cloud and he will move on. He will get someone worthy.

                      Are you really happy doing this?

                      Of course I am not. But his happiness means a lot to me.

                      But how will you go away from him so easily?

                      Simple. I will hug him tightly, tell him that I am not the correct one for him, make him understand that he needs someone better and walk away with a smile."

    Arjun closed the diary, his heart beating wildly and thoughts racing at the parting away plan she had written. She didn't smile when she left, least not did she give him a hug. But that was secondary. She had felt awfully miserable while going away. Eyes moistened, he read the other entries where she tried to decide if her choices were correct or not. And mostly, she wrote about him.

                     "What will happen to him if I go away? Will he become gloomy like how he was when he last had a break up? Will he again resign to the heart-break and become sad again?

                       No. Never. I have taught him enough about that episode till now. He is a genius and above all, he is my best friend. He will never forget my words and thoughts. He will always remember what he has to do and he will do the right things always. He will try to be happy, calm, composed and highly active, decisive like he has always been. That's what I prize in him. At least he would be that way for me."

    That woke Arjun up. For her... He would do anything for her. And if she wanted him to go on like he always had, then he would do it without any complain. But forgetting her and moving on was highly impossible. Not after learning how she felt about him. She had loved him more than what his imagination suggested. And he loved her. She might have walked away for his own good. But his well-being and happiness rested in her.

    He smiled, thinking about the emotional attachment she had with him, the bond she had shared with him, the love she had wrapped him in. How could she have been crazy to think that walking away was the best option? But then, she had always been crazy. But not so stupid. Maybe she will realize one day that she had been wrong and would come back to him.

    That seemed like an infinite lifetime impossibility to him. They never knew each others' names or any other details except that she knew he was a businessman. But that wouldn't be any help.

    He slid onto his bed, planning his life like how she had wanted him to.

    Since then he always pictured her sitting beside him, holding his hand and guiding him, leading him in the correct way. He adapted her style of writing diary- questioning himself like a different person and then answering those questions with the best possible solutions.

    He continued his jogging schedule. He would sit on the wall and feel her imprints near him, alive and juvenile like they always have been. He would divide his conscience into two parts- one was his voice and the other was her's.

    As months passed, he never saw her anywhere in practical. But personally, she was with him. He progressed professionally, reached the heights which his dad had always dreamed him to reach. Though his dad made him manage the whole business countrywide, he never left the city. Even if he had to travel to other places on business purposes, he would return as soon as possible.

    Two years passed by and he still was the same. His dad, cousins, no one could make him move onto others. He never looked out for another girl, never. And he didn't try to search extensively for her. It was her idea that whatever is truly written in your destiny will come to you without you realizing it. And he was strongly willed to follow whatever she said.



TO BE CONTINUED.........!!!!!!!